Friday, April 27, 2007

THE GREAT RACE XLIV (Part II)

The Heart


BOAC recently outlined the list of people who want to be elected, and whose campaigns define them by their skin deep qualifications. These include, for example, being a woman; a black man; a religious zealot, a governor (preferably of a Western state); a war veteran, a charismatic bachelor, a senator, a 9/11 Hero. We are all, clearly, desperate for leaders who will place their country above their party. We want to propose some capable leaders who meet those packaging needs but who also have enough ethical, philosophical or ideological humility that 49% of the population won’t wish them dead as soon as they take the oath of office.

Here are four names that Americans would see on the ballot if we were half as American as our bumper stickers say we are. These are people who are far, far more honorable and competent than any of the current slate.

1) The Reluctant Warrior.

Four Star General, (youngest ever) Chairman of the JCS, Secretary of Sate, Moderate Republican. Black Man.

In an era that has tested military loyalty more than any time since the civil war, the most loyal soldier in America stands bloody, but unbowed on a pillar above the rest.Colin Powell is a moderate but confirmed Republican who opposed both of our military interventions into Iraq. Make no mistake; when he testified at the U.N. on February 5th 2003, Secretary Powell was impaling himself on his own sword, in loyal support of a foreign policy he detested.

Only a black soldier could have risen from Mai-Lai (that was in Vietnam kids), through Panama, Grenada, Libya and Beirut to preside over the largest combined arms combat operation in American history in the first Gulf War. His career milestones mark a path, not so much of a soldier gifted at leading warriors into combat, but as a warrior destined to lead politicians out of it. They broke it and Colin can fix it.

On his first day Powell would be the most accomplished foreign policy practitioner to ever sit in the White House. He would be one of the only Presidents to have previously served in more than one un-elected position in the chain of command. But that’s not even close to the main reason he should be at the top of every wish list to be the next Republican candidate for President of the United States.

America is long overdue for a President who is not a white male. Colin Powell would ensure that the first African American President would both merit and win an undeniable electoral majority. Unless he were to run against Barack Obama, in which case he would probably win the largest landslide in history.

2) Southern Man

Almost everyone finally understands that runaway industrial pollution can, and is causing Global Climate Change (for the worse). However, if you are still a global warming denier try this home test: Sit in your Chevy Suburban or F-250 truck, in the garage with the windows down and your thumped-up bible in your lap. Turn on the car, close the garage doors and then pray for the souls of us fools who think cars can pollute enough to damage our quality of life. In the morning you can ask God for His opinion. Directly.

In 50 years it will be history’s pronouncement that George Bush destroyed America’s respect in the world, and Al Gore won it back and saved much, but not all, of the planet for human habitation. The downside to Al running would be that he will only win by a few percent more votes than he won last time. The upside is that he would embarrass the Democrat's field by raising more money on the day he announced than Hillary has raised in her past ten years of pre-campaigning.

The Blog only has one question about Al: Since he has already won a presidential election could he run for a second term?


3) The Woman is Smarter

Without question the very best way to get elected to the Presidency, in our generation, is to be a conservative two-term, western, red state governor. The best Republican man for the job may be a female Democrat. Arizona is a staunchly Republican, heavily Mormon state. Republicans have always taken the state for granite. They have an overwhelming conservative majority, a significant (to say the least) population of Mormon voters, very few non-white voters and carefully gerrymandered pro Republican districting.

Arizona also made history in each of the last two gubernatorial elections. They became the first state in history to elect a woman governor to replace a sitting woman governor. Then without bating an eye, Arizona voters re-elected her in a landslide against an established Mormon Republican. A former attorney general, she is at the head of the class for intelligence, competence and honesty. She is one of the only governors in America who is uniformly respected by her opposing party.

Governor Napolitano is everything Hillary is not. Including electable.

4) The Ethical Conservative

We go straight to the source to find an honest, open Conservative.

In our hearts, we know the Republicans are going to steal the next election, somehow. The BOAC thought long and hard about this problem and tried to come up with one respectable Republican who can save American Conservatism (and America) from the bizzaro-world party of Godless Christianity that the Republican side has become.

Behind door number 4 we have the chairman for the 2006-07 year of the Pulitzer Prize Board. He is also the chairman of the Committee to Protect Journalists, a New York-based nonprofit organization founded in 1981 to promote press freedom by working for the rights of journalists’ worldwide. He was honored with the "Decade of Excellence" award from the World Leadership Forum in 2005. The John E. Anderson Graduate School of Management at UCLA honored him with the 2002 Gerald Loeb Award for lifetime achievement. Also in 2002, he was awarded the highest honor awarded by the Columbia University School of Journalism. He was named a 2001-2002 Poynter Fellow by Yale University. The National Press Foundation awarded him the 2001 George Beveridge Editor of the Year Award for qualities that produce excellence in media. In March 1999, he was elected to the Pulitzer Prize Board. He personally won three Gerald Loeb Awards and two John Hancock awards for his economics and business coverage.

Please give a warm “49% and a prayer” welcome to managing editor of The Wall Street Journal, vice president of Dow Jones & Company and the next President of the United States of America: Paul E. Steiger.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Virgina Tech Media Day

Boy is it strange when The Cowboy finds that Fox News is the voice of reason about something.

But The Cowboy praises where praise is due.

After the recent murder spree in Virginia, every major national and, most minor local media outlets broadcast the insane self-glorifying media kit prepared by the lunatic Cho. Except one. Fox News limited their re-broadcast of these sick you-tube memoirs from the first moments and FoxNews.com is the ONLY major internet player that shielded them further by placing them behind a second tier of links and headlines.

The aftermath of the V.A. tech massacre has been a train wreck for America's vaunted free-press and high-tech information society. The same quasi-editorial powers who refused to re-broadcast or even re-print transcripts of Don Imus' recent offensive rant, sprayed this psycho’s you-tube clip across the frontal lobes of America with orgasmic delight. The media, our media, was thrilled to the bone to have details of his weapons and pictures of his PST inducing video.

Cho was insane, but not stupid. He knew the American Press would grant him his posthumous fifteen minutes of fame. Just like all terrorists know they will win glorifying assistance from American news hawkers. Cho knew he was right about the media culture of America. He knew it would inspire more killing. He knew ABC News would lead the charge and make HIM more of an icon than his victims ever will be. He knew the American press would give his act meaning and, in his mind, that was all the justification he needed.

Followers of The Cowboy know that we find no joy in critiquing the loss of deep ethos in American "journalism". However if the editors of America have lost their collective reason (and credibility guys, if that maters) we want to help them get it back. The Cowboy helpfully suggests that there is only one question Ed Murrow would want to answer about this madman and his weapons of choice:

"Play Station; X-box; or Wii".

It is unlikely any of the 2.5 readers of Blog of A Cowboy are V.A. Tech Survivors, but if you are one, we offer our condolences - knowing full-well it makes no difference for your loss.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Great Race XLIV

Part I: Meet the New Boss

Thanks for nothing grand-pa Brokaw.

As a member of “The Greatest Living American Marketing Demographic Database ” I want to share my early thoughts on the next field of Presidential candidates bequeathed upon us by “The Greatest Living American Generation”. In part two I’ll suggest a few alternative, noble and qualified leaders from Left and Right to replace them.

Early campaign donation reports are on the front page this week and so the next round of “American Idyll” is underway. The rumbling you hear is the media, firing a live-loaded starter’s pistol for the next presidential race – straight into the crowd. The only reportable fact of note is that most Americans from the left and right, would prefer to see ANY OTHER CANDIDATES than the ones now in the hunt to be the next POTUS. None of them are worth a damn. A leader with, well, leadership skills, would be a breath of fresh air in the “49% and a prayer” partisan fart-sack we call a Democracy these days.

The media’s job is to hypnotize us (with a brick) into accepting the less dangerous option of two campaigns. They lead us all, left and right alike, as vanquished champions, down to a sunless sea. 49% of America hates (and I mean watch-them-die-in-the-desert hatred) the other 49% of Americans, and vis-a-versa. That leaves me among the lonely 2% of freak-flag waiving cowboys. Left to watch the soul of American Democracy sail off into the polluted sunset, somewhere over towards China.

After W. the GOP faces a new bar for maturity or humanity that is higher than Abe Lincoln’s top hat. Not even The Ghost of Ronald Reagan can re-warm the chilled heart of American Conservatives. How anyone can still pretend it is even remotely ethical to belong to Karl Rove's Republican Party is beyond me.

There is only one scenario in which the Republicans' “Party of Hate” should even be allowed by honest, pitch-fork wielding Americans to field a serious candidate for the next election: The Democrats would have to vainly assume that the recent election’s mandate to get the Republicans out of power was the same thing as a mandate to put Democrats in.

Oops.

… Same as the Olde Boss

McCain was destroyed beyond ethics, worse than any Democrat ever has been or ever will be, by the Rove/Cheney/Bush Juggernaut of his own team. The modern Republican Party treated John McCain less honorably than the Viet Cong did. He took it, and that is his problem. The Senator’s failing health, wounded pride and (understandably) nasty temper have alienated everyone in both parties. He has exactly a 2% percent chance of regaining the stolen independent affection and credibility of statesmanship, that he spent his lifetime earning. Straight Talk for McCain can only begin with an admission that Republican Party did more damage to America after 9/11 than the illiterate savages did on 9/11.

Hillary was once the dancing Goldwater Girl who invented “fixing health care” but she spent the past 8 years re-making herself as a steel grimaced, uber-woman, talking-points candidate for the new left (circa 1975). In the process she showed a willingness to sacrifice reason, leadership, and dignity to become the most frighteningly narcissistic candidate on the slate. Her draw as a punching bag for McCain and Giuliani puts her high in the polls; but as a human heart called to carry forward the arts and letters legacy of American leadership during times of peril, she ties with McCain for desperately fighting the next (campaign) war using the failed strategies and momentum of the last one.


Obama has all of the polished upward gazing promise of a life magazine cover. Life magazine is closing this year. Those of us who curse like sailors when we smash our hangover-trembling fingers with a hammer, while trying to squeeze a Starbucks lifestyle out of a Wal-Mart economy won’t notice the absence of either one. The Senator raises a lot of Hollywood anti-Hillary cash, but don’t be fooled by it. It is politically incorect to publically criticize a person of such distinguished minority diversity, too bad for the wunder-kind that voting booths have privacy curtains. His electrifying presence as a Non-White, Non-Woman, Non-Black, Non-Hispanic, Non-Male, Non-southern, Non-Eastern, Non-Gay, Non-Straight, Non-Western, Non-Catholic, Non-Jewish, Non-Muslim, Melting Pot poster child only ensures he will carry a majority of Non-Voters.

Guliani, ( That’s “Mr. Nine-Eleven, SIR” to you) said his wife will attend cabinet meetings, defended his lifelong partnership with an alleged mob-style criminal and appeared to suggest that The Fed would pay for abortions in the future. And that was just this week. It would be unprecedented for a President’s wife to have that kind of access. It would be even more unprecedented if his third marriage lasts long enough for it to be possible. His life-long friend, Bernard Kerik embarrassed the W. House when R.G. tried to force him down their gullet as senior law enforcer, Director of Homeland Security. Turned out Rudy's Rove is into homeland organized crime. Rudolph’s greatest asset is, of course, his public presence on 9/11; too bad he hosed the NYFD so bad politically that they won’t even invite him to speak at the memorial rallies.

Romney stands at the fore of America’s fastest growing Church, the Mormons. They should own the only un-flooded spit of moral high ground left in America. Sadly, for Romney, his brethren also own the un-prosecuted child sexing polygamist cults of Arizona City, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona. Two LDS towns named specifically to confuse federal law enforcement agencies and tax collectors. Mit, (or Mitch or, whatever) has taken flip-floppery to a new level with his family-values pandering in previous campaigns. Don’t assume Mit will even carry the home temple vote: The not-so-greatest living generation at BYU just voted to un-invite Dick Cheney as their featured graduation speaker because he fails to live up to LDS ethical dogma (and he started too many wars for oil). Still, Elder Mit could be the first American President from a religion founded by a snake-oil salesman who spoke to GOD via a magic bean he kept in his hat.

……

End Part I